summer lovin'

instant like

andy... you genius, you

get healthy. always.

i feel disgusting right now. i've been in such a rut this week for some reason and have pretty much eaten everything in sight. it's bikini season. why do i seem to think i am invincible when i am clearly not? i am getting up and running several miles tomorrow morning before we get back on the road. i feel so unhealthy. i am in serious need of a cleanse. here's a happy little reminder that i found on my computer today... it's a health plan i wrote for myself right after rockette season & i've followed it quite strictly up until recently. i seriously need some re-focus time...

Non-negotiables of living a healthy life list

1. Burning as many calories as you eat with cardio is the way the lose weight/fat.

2. The protein you eat, the less carbs, the skinnier/leaner/stronger you will get.

3. Eat only until you're full. When your stomach says you're done, you're done.

4. NO PAIN, NO GAIN. never has there been a truer statement.

5. When you work out, wherever it is burning, it's working.

6. When you want to quit, go 10-20% more/longer. that's when it's kicking in.

7. Once you get your shoes on, & step out the door, the rest will just happen. Just do it.

8. Eat less packaged, eat more produce.

9. If it's from the earth, not a factory, it's probably good for you.

10. The greener the better.

12. Sleep makes a difference. No need to rely on calories for fuel, sleep is #1, food is #2.

13. The term "beauty sleep" didn't come from nowhere. It helps, don't cut it short.

14. Take a day off. Relax. Still eat healthy though.

15. Compliment yourself every single day. Somebody has to say it & mean it to your face, make it YOU.

16. Peanut butter is good for you in MODERATION. (& not around workouts)

17. Sugar (the unnatural kind) is NOT good for you.

18. Sugar makes you FAT. Fat doesn't make you fat, Sugar does.

19. Refined carbs make you fat. Know why? They're made with sugar.

20. Drink green tea. And lots of it. All the time.

21. The only affective "detox" diet is to drink lots of water.

22. H20 should be your best friend. Drink as much as possible, as often as possible.

23. Don't deprive yourself & indulge every now & then. Happiness is also important for your health.

24. The term "beer belly" is not just for guys. Alcohol has LOADS of calories. You better be dancing it off. :)

smart girl said all that. it works. just gotta get back on track. i've got 2 weeks til the lake & 3 until albuquerque. meaning bikinis, leotards, and impressing old high school flames, oh my. i better get my shit together quick. operation healthy alli day one starts tomorrow. goodnight moon

kinda sad

today is one of those days whee i just feel like crying. for no reason at all. i hate days like these. :( boo.

summer time is here

what do i want to do with my summer?

is that too much to ask?

i just want to run away, lay under the sun, cold drink in hand, not a care in the world, get a nice bronze color, super bleached out hair, sunglasses on my face, nobody to care about, nobody to deal with, a smile on my face, no drama, just sunshine and self love. too much to ask? i dont think so. i want that. now. pleeeeeeease?

young now

yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

aint that the truth.

do whatever you want. & do it now. you won't regret it.

free will.use it wisely.

The one thing we always, always carry with us; in in our suitcases across the country, in our favorite handbags & briefcases to work day after day, our dance bags, gym bags, clutches, reusable shopping bags & even in our back pockets in our worst, most vulnerable, selfish moments, is our freedom. The freedom to love, hate, forgive, forget, let go, to leave, stay, fix, or break. At our richest, poorest, happiest, saddest, most furious times in our lives. Free will is one of the few things that connects each & every person on this planet; it's what we choose to do with it that separates us.

It's the reason we, despite our best efforts, have little to no control over our surroundings encompassing others. There is absolutely no way to control another creature of free will. We're all at the mercy of the entire universe, full of millions of billions of currents of free will, each one with it's own set of intents, hopes, fears, dreams, wants, etc. As much as I use mine to love, someone else is free to hate. Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. (Shari R. Barr) I couldn't possibly imagine something more true. Expect nothing from the universe & be grateful for the good you find in the world every day. Fact: Life is unpredictable. What can you do? You can wear your self pity like a shroud & close yourself off to the world, or you can be free to wake up tomorrow with fresh eyes, a fresh mind & a fresh heart, even when you have to fight for it. Be free to forgive & to love because you do have a choice, & it does become your life story.

worth it.

don't hold back from doing the things that you feel are best for you. it is after all your life and you are the only one that gets to live it. don't let anybody live your life for you. do it yourself. don't just live it though, enjoy it. people are going to hurt you. it's inevitable. you can let them continue to do so, or you can walk away and find people that will at least let you be happy for right now. they will likely end up hurting you in some way too, but let's face it, you hurt people too. it's never ever going to be easy and you will likely never ever find any single person that is going to love you as much as you can love yourself. so why hole back on loving yourself. you are beautiful. you are brilliant. you are perfectly imperfect. and no one can take that away from you.

"nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." -eleanor roosevelt

ain't that the truth? if you love yourself the most, who cares w=how anyone else hurts you. don't be bitter. just enjoy their company for what it is and know at the end of the day, you will always be able to give yourself a hug, look in the mirror, and tell yourself you are beautiful in spite of anything else. love today. love the life you've been given. love the people you've been lucky enough to know. love yourself most of all.

happy sunday funday :)

with or without you

i've watched this video only about a zillion and one times and it never, never, ever gets old to me. the feeling it gives you watching it and the way she moves... brilliant. chills. perfection. my opinion. love it.

marilyn said it right

trying to find.

"If you pick me a flower, I’ll wear it in my hair. I’ll stash little notes for you where you least expect them. I don’t have many firsts left.. but I’d like someone who I could offer all of my lasts. We’ll make history together. I’ll wait for you even if you’re late – and I won’t complain about it. Kindness to cashiers, valets, waiters and maddeningly slow postal clerks who would try the patience of Gandhi is a must. I will feel safe and most at peace in your arms. When you’re counting aloud, I will try and mess you up. I find you magically delicious. I will let you be right when it doesn’t really matter. I’ll giggle when you show off and I know it’s just for me. I’ll hold your coffee while you drive. I can build a fire without burning the house down. If you wash the car with me – I promise to wear a white t-shirt for you. I‘ll hide around corners and try to scare you in the middle of the night.. of course, I’ll end up scaring myself and you’ll have to calm me down. I can change a flat tire and my own oil. It’s the simple things you do that make me swoon the most. I love it when you sing to me. I’ll make you mickey mouse pancakes. Sleeping in has a whole new meaning now that we’re doing it together. I’ll cover you up and kiss your forehead when you fall asleep watching tv. I won’t swear around your family or make you wear silly sweaters at my family’s during Christmas. I’ll grant you three wishes. I’ll make you laugh. I’ll stare in wonder with you at that hot chick with the great rack. I will marvel at your strength. I’ll take care of you when you’re sick. I give a kick ass massage. I think it’s hot when you come home all dirty from playing or working hard. My heart will skip every time you walk through the door. My kisses will take your breath away – seriously. I’ll giggle if you leave your socks on in bed. My quirks and oddities have been deemed ‘adorable’ and I will love you more everyday for all of yours. I’ll hold you when you need it. I will give you space when you need it. I will let you be you. You’ll sleep better when I’m next to you. I’ll thank you every time you open a door for me. I’ll never give you shit in front of your friends. I won’t ever let you leave for work in the morning without your lunch and a passionate kiss. We can watch your movie first. I’ll clean the house perfectly every time your mom comes by. I like horror movies only when you’re with me and only as long as you hold me close. I don’t litter. I love when you pull me down to sit on your lap. I love it when you lay your head on my chest in bed. I can be ready (shower and all) in half an hour. I’ll look cute as hell in your shirt in the morning. I can balance a checkbook. I can never turn down a challenge. I’ll fit perfectly in your arms. I’ll understand if you get jealous – and do my best to show you that you have no reason. Hand-written love notes will get you laid every time. I can totally keep a secret. I’m pretty damn funny and will do anything to make you laugh. You will always look hot to me in the morning. I think it’s cute when you eat off my plate. When you’re sleeping, I’ll try to stay quiet. I’ll call when I say I will. Treat me like a woman and I’ll treat you like a man. To clarify: I’m not looking for a fix-up project, or anything of that sort. I’m looking for a man who quite simply adds something extraordinary and special to my life. And I to him. A fair exchange, an amazing mind, body and soul connection and a place to build something magnificent."

change things

this is much harder than i thought it would be............................................................................................

curiosity

is that too much to ask? drama free is the way to be. i want to get there.

my life is nuts right now. so much accusation, so much trust broken, so many people assuming things about me even when theyve known me for 3 years and know the kind of person i am... im over it all. i am not perfect. i like to run away from my problems. i wish that i could run away from all of this, and i would in a heartbeat... if it wasnt for the fact that there is something at the end of all this drama that has my interest. has all of my attention something that's got me curious. something that makes me want to know more. something that MIGHT be worth the drama... we will see.

no matter what though, i need to remember that whatever happens, i have myself. and that's all i need. i do not need others for satisfaction in life. i have all i need. but it sure as hell provides some excitement and entertainment for the time being. i'm beginning to wonder if my heart can be broken ever agin. i feel like i am immune to so much now. the word love has no meaning in my dictionary right now. its a weird, yet wonderful feeling right now. the only thing on the other end of love is me in my mind. i love me right now. and that's all i need to love. i am number one. i am going to get what i want and do what i want to do. having some company along the way won't kill me though. :) just sayin.