turkey day

happy turkey day everyone!

im spending this day away from my family. minus all of my traditions i grew up with. i watched the macy's parade from a lonely cold hotel room by myself. there aren't smells of bubble cake wafting through the air. there was no turkey trot run this morning with dad. there will be no helping cut up veggies for stuffing or putting the marshmallows on the yams for me. there will be no organizing of a family photo. no, traditions are once again out the window this year. i have to remind myself that this is only temporary and that one day i will be able to continue these traditions in my own home with my family. until then, this will have to make due.

don't get me wrong, im not complaining. not one bit. i am well aware that i am doing what so many girls would kill to do. i am living my dream. i am doing what i love. i am performing and spreading christmas cheer. i am touching hearts and lives.

i am thankful to be doing what i love around the holidays. but i sure do miss home and my loved ones.

enjoy this holiday everyone. happy thanksgiving :)

love & other drugs

i can't wait to see this movie. it comes out tomorrow. going to be amazing i think. love a thought provoking movie.

my love & other drugs

she loves: side ponytails + boy short undies & tube socks + chocolate milk + cozy, comfy, sinky, swallowy couches + really soft hair you can run your fingers through with ease + cherry chapstick

she loves the words: elegance + revbev + futz + zoo + strut + sass-a-frass + lovebirds + delicious + fucklehead

she enjoys: long runs on the beach + live red dirt country music + baseball games & hotdogs + christmas tree ornaments + laughing to my abs achy

she dreams of: snuggling by a fire + a doggy to call hers + traveling anywhere & everywhere + family

myrtle turtle

there really is nothing i enjoy in the world more than a loooong run to clear my head. i truly believe that a 10 mile run can solve ANY problem. world peace really. an hour and a half of nothing but moving forward with your own power and strength. a good thought provoking playlist and something to think about. whatever the topic of the day may be, your mind will wonder from happy to sad to curious to frustrated to content to driven to any other emotion you can possibly feel. what a thrill. if you have never run more than 3 miles in your life, i HIGHLY suggest you get past that hump, because that's right when it starts to get good. that's when you start to feel on top of the world and like nothing can touch you. like youre the only thing that can stop you. youre the only thing that can bring you down. because in that moment, in that run, in that hour and a half, that is actually true. the only thing that can stop you is your mind and your body. not anyone, not anything. just you. its addicting, i swear.

i went for a run today on the beach in the dirty myrtle. 62 degrees outside. feeling like fall for the first time this year. clouds and a light mist. old couples bundled up for their afternoon/evening beach walk, holding hands. seagulls calmly playing near the waters edge. the wind blowing, the waves crashing. it was perfection. it was high tide, so running right at the waters edge where the sand is hard from the ocean is the way to go. i love the feeling of the rushing water rolling up so close to you as if it's trying to catch you on your race. such an incredible rush.

i loved everything about today.

last day of rehearsals at the waccamaw.

a tropical, sunny ambush of the ProBo cast.

a paper snowball fight.

an excellent run-through of a little Christmas show.

an incredible group of amazingly talented and wonderful women.

a PHENOMENAL woman we are privileged to call our director, grinning ear to ear.

an early release of 2 o clock, 3 hours early.

a york peppermint patty.

a pumpkin spice latte.

fall weather and warm pasta.

the aforementioned beach run.

strawberry blonde beer.

hair dye and some overdue roomie bonding.

what an amazing last day in myrtle beach. now its onto sunny florida! hello ft. myers, nice to meet you :)

get life. get going.

go. do. it. NOW.

making changes

"i must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries." ---theodore isaac rubin

sometimes i feel like i forget how to be me. how to be the best, happiest version of myself. by the end of my last season, i was beaming. i was happy. i was on top of the word. this season, i am going to focus on getting back to that state of mind, back to that place in my life. i want to be that happy again, i want to live my very best life. i need to be healthy. i need to be the best that i can be at my job, as a friend, as a daughter, as a girlfriend, as me for me, as a person in general. i am going to review old blogs and channel that version of me. its very exciting people.

get. into. it. :)

its that time of year again...

Christmas starts tomorrow. :D get excited. i know i am.

Santa's got a brand new bag. i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack :D

chat SOON!

the ups & downs

why do we as women give so much power to the male species? somehow they manage to control our thoughts & emotions & feelings & we just let it happen. why is it so difficult to be happy when you have so much good going on in your life, but yet you dont know what the man in your life is thinking & that brings you down from that cloud 9 you should be on... why can't we think like them and just not care and brush things off so easily. why is it so easy for them to not let one single thing we do affect their mood & day? they know it'll all be fine tomorrow. as is 99% of the time true. but we want answers. we want to know that it's all good NOW. not tomorrow. patience. ugh. why can we not keep that empowered feeling all the time and never let a look or a text or a phone call or a word or a statement get in our heads and get us down. why is that sooooo difficult for women? so up. so down. such a rollercoaster. dont get me wrong, it certainly keeps me on my toes, that's for certain... & i do love that thrill... but i just really wish my mood was not so easily affected. why do i have to care so much?

geez. just gotta shake it off. not worry so much & just live MY life. why is it so clear when i sit here & type it out or when i'm out on an afternoon jog? why can't i keep that clear mind allllll the time. i need to do more yoga i think. yes, that is the answer. yoga, running, pilates, dancing. they fix everything. me. me. me. it's all about me. remember it. dont forget it. play their game & win. you know you're worth that & deserve that & are wayyyyy better than that. so don't forget it. k? k.

in other news... i had a thrill of a weekend. whew.

to sum it up in a few short statements...

old no. 7 was my best friend.

old no. 7 was my caloric intake. total.

old no. 7 was my fun train.

locked doors. x2, 1 bad, 1 very VERY good.

lesbians with hands & pickup lines

carrie underwood compliments galore.

dum dums & gum.

baseball alumni in love.

doughnuts & m&ms.

sneaking out of windows.

a nice hot shower.

& a taco bell mexi pizza.

all in all, success in fun land was accomplished.

i do love life. the ups, the downs, the crazies, the happys, the dramas, the everythings.

i love it all.

toughen up

i have GOT to stop thinking so much. i have GOT to stop being such a girl. what is my problem. i'm about to ruin things for myself. who am i right now. take a chill pill. be yourself don't worry about everyone else. don't worry about anything. stick to your way of thinking and knowing everything happens for a reason. chill. out. be tough. don't be stupid. but at the same time don't let anyone make you feel you are except yourself. in fact, just don't let anyone make you feel stupid. you're not. sheesh. chill out.

a perfect night. or not.

Well tell me what you're starin' at

What it is, where it's at

I wanna know

Yeah I know what you'll probly say

You'll find your own way but I wanna hear you tell me so

So come down off your throne

Yeah we don't really wanna be alone

It's such a perfect night

A perfect night for losin'

A perfect night for fallin down

Perfect night for stayin somewhere else

Get me outta my head

What was the last thing that ya said?

I'm slipping over the edge and I don't wanna hear you tell me to pull myself back in

It's such a perfect night

Well I've been cursed, I have been blessed

And I admit I've been obsessed with you

Yeah I like how you can stand alone

You're bitter into the bone, I know it's true

It makes me wanna be near you

Yeah just to see what you might do

It's such a perfect night

A perfect night for losin'

A perfect night for fallin down

Perfect night for stayin somewhere else

Get me outta my head

What was the last thing that ya said?

I'm slipping over the edge and I don't wanna hear you tell me to pull myself back in

It's such a perfect night

get it out

sometimes i wonder why i put myself through the things i do. why i put up with some of the things that i put up with. yesterday might have been one of the crumbiest days to date and it was supposed to be one of the most fun exciting happy days to date. funny how every time i plan on something or expect something to happen or hope something goes a certain way, 9 times out of 10, it goes the exact opposite direction of the way i wanted it to. maybe i should just start hoping for shitty days. then i'd be on cloud 9 all the time i imagine. what have i been saying? you can't rely on anyone but yourself. so why am i letting this other person in and mess with that?

i'm so sick of secrets.

i'm so sick of lies.

i'm so sick of not being in control of certain things that i should have control over.

i'm so sick of putting myself out there.

i'm so sick of putting up with things i should not have to put up with.

i'm so sick of my crazy up and down lifestyle habits.

i'm so sick of the rollercoaster ride that i put myself on...

yet for some reason the thrill of that ride keeps me coming back for more... and more... even when it has me spinning out of control and sick to my stomach most of the times... that happy high at the end of it all keeps me wanting more... ugh. ride on.

not inferior

" No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. "

- Eleanor Roosevelt -

lies

what am i doing. what am i thinking.

wish i had an answer for that.

back to the grind

i checked off something on my 21 list a few weeks back. :) and something else that was on my life bucket list. i'm pretty happy about that. and i'd like to say i'm pretty ha[[y with life in general right now, which i am... except i don't have that cloud 9 feeling. and i know exactly why i don't. it's because i've eaten anything and everything in sight lately. haha. not quite really, just close. so of course, here i go again, gettin back on track. i want to be as happy as i was in the spring when i was in the best shape of my life. so i'm going to handle that. and i'm going to boot camp myself for awhile.

1. No sugar for a month.

2. No to very little carbs, unless it's fruits and veggies.

3. Cardio every day. Running, biking, spinning, kickboxing.

4. Strength training. Hard core.

That's the plan. Gettin back to it, gettin back to the grind. back in rockette shape, it's about that time again people. :) that's all i have for you for now, i'll start posting more and keepin updated on how it's going. chat soon!

be you perfectly

so i've been thinking and it is time for a refresher. i've kind of let myself get caught up in one particular thing as of late and i have snapped back into reality that i need to live my life for me. for a minute i fell back into my old ways of pleasing other people. well, let me just tell you, NO MORE. i am leaving for North Carolina in a week and a half and until then, i am devoting my days to living my best life. i am going to eat healthy, be healthy, and focus on the positives in my life. i am going to focus on being the me i want to be and the me i know that i am rather than trying to be someone else. i am good enough. i am better. i worth that much. i deserve that. i owe that to myself. fell off the train for a bit, but let me tell you, i am BACK in action ladies & gents!

independence

confidence

freedom

motivation

inspiration

perfection

these things are going to be my focus once again. and of course a little sunshine never hurt anyone either :) live well people. dont fall into the trap, remember when you are happiest and have been the happiest and focus on that. work on being a better you always.

"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press onto the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you."

thats on my facebook and my life motto. sometimes i forget it. i remembered just now. :)

simple pleasures

• Letting your hair free from a pony-tail at the end of the day.
• That smooth sensation you get all over your body right after you shave.
• Taking your bra off after a long day.
• Getting ready for a day you been looking forward to.
• Chillin’ at home, no make-up, bed hair, basketball shorts, in front of the TV snacking endlessly on junk food.
• Knowing it’s your last day of your menstrual cycle.
• Going through your bags of new clothes… that were on sale!

a letter to men

by Christina Hendricks

“

We love your body. If we’re in love with you, we love your body. Your potbelly, everything. Even if you’re insecure about something, we love your body. You feel like you’re not this or that? We love your body. We embrace everything. Because it’s you.

Speaking of your body, you don’t understand the power of your own smell. Any woman who is currently with a man is with him partly because she loves the way he smells. And if we haven’t smelled you for a day or two and then we suddenly are within inches of you, we swoon. We get light-headed. It’s intoxicating. It’s heady.

We remember forever what you say about the bodies of other women. When you mention in passing that a certain woman is attractive — could be someone in the office, a woman on the
street, a celebrity, any woman in the world, really — your comment goes into a steel box and it stays there forever. We will file the comment under “Women He Finds Attractive.” It’s not about
whether or not we approve of the comment. It’s about learning what you think is sexy and how we might be able to convey it. It’s about keeping our man by knowing what he likes.

We also remember everything you say about our bodies, be it good or bad. Doesn’t matter if it’s a compliment. Could be just a comment. Those things you say are stored away in the steel
box, and we remember these things verbatim. We remember what you were wearing and the street corner you were standing on when you said it.

Never complain about our friends — even if we do. No matter how many times we say a friend of ours is driving us crazy, you are not to pile on. Not because it offends us. But because it adds to the weight that we carry around about her.

Remember what we like. When I first started dating my husband, I had this weird fascination with the circus and clowns and old carnival things and sideshow freaks and all that. About a month after we started dating, he bought me this amazing black-and-white photo book on the circus in the 1930s, and I started sobbing. Which freaked him out. I thought, Oh, my God, I mentioned this three or four weeks ago and talked about it briefly, but he was really listening to me. And he actually went out and researched and found this thing for me. It was amazing.

We want you to order Scotch. It’s the most impressive drink order. It’s classic. It’s sexy. Such a rich color. The glass, the smell. It’s not watered down with fruit juice. It’s Scotch. And you ordered it.

Stand up, open a door, offer a jacket. We talk about it with our friends after you do it. We say, “Can you believe he stood up when I approached the table?” It makes us feel important. And it makes you important because we talk about it.

No shorts that go below the knee. The ones almost like capri pants, the ones that hover somewhere between the kneecap and the calf? Enough with those shorts. They are the most embarrassing pants in the world. They should never be worn. No woman likes those.

Also, no tank tops. In public at least. A tank top is underwear. You’re walking around in your underwear. Too much.

No man should be on Facebook. It’s an invasion of everyone’s privacy. I really cannot stand it.

You don’t know this, but when we come back from a date, we feel awkward about that transition from our cute outfit into sexy lingerie. We don’t know how to do this gracefully. It’s embarrassing. We have to find a way to slip into another room, put on the outfit as if it all happened very easily, and then come out and it’s: Look at me! Look at the sexy thing I’ve done! For you, it’s the blink of an eye. It’s all very embarrassing. Just so you know.

Panties is a wonderful word. When did you stop saying “panties”? It’s sexy. It’s girlie. It’s naughty. Say it more.

About ogling: The men who look, they really look. It doesn’t insult us. It doesn’t faze us, really. It’s just — well, it’s a little infantile. Which is ironic, isn’t it? The men who constantly stare at our breasts are never the men we’re attracted to.

There are better words than beautiful. Radiant, for instance. It’s an underused word. It’s a very special word. “You are radiant.” Also, enchanting, smoldering, intoxicating, charming, fetching.

Marriage changes very little. The only things that will get a married man laid that won’t get a single man laid are adultery and whores. Intelligence and humor (and your smell) are what get you laid. That’s what got you laid when you were single. That’s what gets you laid when you’re married. Everything still works in marriage: especially intelligence and humor. Because the sexiest thing is to know you.

“

it's just a boy...

good company

this is what my weekend is going to look like. let the fun begin. :) happy summer!

let's get it on.

aaaaaaand some inspiration for... well... other areas in life.

at last.

"here we are in heaven."

some inspiration has come my way. at laaaaaaaast, at last, at last.

but keep on keepin on

words of wisdom from sienna

"you're always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company."

summer lovin'

instant like

andy... you genius, you

get healthy. always.

i feel disgusting right now. i've been in such a rut this week for some reason and have pretty much eaten everything in sight. it's bikini season. why do i seem to think i am invincible when i am clearly not? i am getting up and running several miles tomorrow morning before we get back on the road. i feel so unhealthy. i am in serious need of a cleanse. here's a happy little reminder that i found on my computer today... it's a health plan i wrote for myself right after rockette season & i've followed it quite strictly up until recently. i seriously need some re-focus time...

Non-negotiables of living a healthy life list

1. Burning as many calories as you eat with cardio is the way the lose weight/fat.

2. The protein you eat, the less carbs, the skinnier/leaner/stronger you will get.

3. Eat only until you're full. When your stomach says you're done, you're done.

4. NO PAIN, NO GAIN. never has there been a truer statement.

5. When you work out, wherever it is burning, it's working.

6. When you want to quit, go 10-20% more/longer. that's when it's kicking in.

7. Once you get your shoes on, & step out the door, the rest will just happen. Just do it.

8. Eat less packaged, eat more produce.

9. If it's from the earth, not a factory, it's probably good for you.

10. The greener the better.

12. Sleep makes a difference. No need to rely on calories for fuel, sleep is #1, food is #2.

13. The term "beauty sleep" didn't come from nowhere. It helps, don't cut it short.

14. Take a day off. Relax. Still eat healthy though.

15. Compliment yourself every single day. Somebody has to say it & mean it to your face, make it YOU.

16. Peanut butter is good for you in MODERATION. (& not around workouts)

17. Sugar (the unnatural kind) is NOT good for you.

18. Sugar makes you FAT. Fat doesn't make you fat, Sugar does.

19. Refined carbs make you fat. Know why? They're made with sugar.

20. Drink green tea. And lots of it. All the time.

21. The only affective "detox" diet is to drink lots of water.

22. H20 should be your best friend. Drink as much as possible, as often as possible.

23. Don't deprive yourself & indulge every now & then. Happiness is also important for your health.

24. The term "beer belly" is not just for guys. Alcohol has LOADS of calories. You better be dancing it off. :)

smart girl said all that. it works. just gotta get back on track. i've got 2 weeks til the lake & 3 until albuquerque. meaning bikinis, leotards, and impressing old high school flames, oh my. i better get my shit together quick. operation healthy alli day one starts tomorrow. goodnight moon

kinda sad

today is one of those days whee i just feel like crying. for no reason at all. i hate days like these. :( boo.

summer time is here

what do i want to do with my summer?

is that too much to ask?

i just want to run away, lay under the sun, cold drink in hand, not a care in the world, get a nice bronze color, super bleached out hair, sunglasses on my face, nobody to care about, nobody to deal with, a smile on my face, no drama, just sunshine and self love. too much to ask? i dont think so. i want that. now. pleeeeeeease?

young now

yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

aint that the truth.

do whatever you want. & do it now. you won't regret it.

free will.use it wisely.

The one thing we always, always carry with us; in in our suitcases across the country, in our favorite handbags & briefcases to work day after day, our dance bags, gym bags, clutches, reusable shopping bags & even in our back pockets in our worst, most vulnerable, selfish moments, is our freedom. The freedom to love, hate, forgive, forget, let go, to leave, stay, fix, or break. At our richest, poorest, happiest, saddest, most furious times in our lives. Free will is one of the few things that connects each & every person on this planet; it's what we choose to do with it that separates us.

It's the reason we, despite our best efforts, have little to no control over our surroundings encompassing others. There is absolutely no way to control another creature of free will. We're all at the mercy of the entire universe, full of millions of billions of currents of free will, each one with it's own set of intents, hopes, fears, dreams, wants, etc. As much as I use mine to love, someone else is free to hate. Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. (Shari R. Barr) I couldn't possibly imagine something more true. Expect nothing from the universe & be grateful for the good you find in the world every day. Fact: Life is unpredictable. What can you do? You can wear your self pity like a shroud & close yourself off to the world, or you can be free to wake up tomorrow with fresh eyes, a fresh mind & a fresh heart, even when you have to fight for it. Be free to forgive & to love because you do have a choice, & it does become your life story.

worth it.

don't hold back from doing the things that you feel are best for you. it is after all your life and you are the only one that gets to live it. don't let anybody live your life for you. do it yourself. don't just live it though, enjoy it. people are going to hurt you. it's inevitable. you can let them continue to do so, or you can walk away and find people that will at least let you be happy for right now. they will likely end up hurting you in some way too, but let's face it, you hurt people too. it's never ever going to be easy and you will likely never ever find any single person that is going to love you as much as you can love yourself. so why hole back on loving yourself. you are beautiful. you are brilliant. you are perfectly imperfect. and no one can take that away from you.

"nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." -eleanor roosevelt

ain't that the truth? if you love yourself the most, who cares w=how anyone else hurts you. don't be bitter. just enjoy their company for what it is and know at the end of the day, you will always be able to give yourself a hug, look in the mirror, and tell yourself you are beautiful in spite of anything else. love today. love the life you've been given. love the people you've been lucky enough to know. love yourself most of all.

happy sunday funday :)

with or without you

i've watched this video only about a zillion and one times and it never, never, ever gets old to me. the feeling it gives you watching it and the way she moves... brilliant. chills. perfection. my opinion. love it.

marilyn said it right

trying to find.

"If you pick me a flower, I’ll wear it in my hair. I’ll stash little notes for you where you least expect them. I don’t have many firsts left.. but I’d like someone who I could offer all of my lasts. We’ll make history together. I’ll wait for you even if you’re late – and I won’t complain about it. Kindness to cashiers, valets, waiters and maddeningly slow postal clerks who would try the patience of Gandhi is a must. I will feel safe and most at peace in your arms. When you’re counting aloud, I will try and mess you up. I find you magically delicious. I will let you be right when it doesn’t really matter. I’ll giggle when you show off and I know it’s just for me. I’ll hold your coffee while you drive. I can build a fire without burning the house down. If you wash the car with me – I promise to wear a white t-shirt for you. I‘ll hide around corners and try to scare you in the middle of the night.. of course, I’ll end up scaring myself and you’ll have to calm me down. I can change a flat tire and my own oil. It’s the simple things you do that make me swoon the most. I love it when you sing to me. I’ll make you mickey mouse pancakes. Sleeping in has a whole new meaning now that we’re doing it together. I’ll cover you up and kiss your forehead when you fall asleep watching tv. I won’t swear around your family or make you wear silly sweaters at my family’s during Christmas. I’ll grant you three wishes. I’ll make you laugh. I’ll stare in wonder with you at that hot chick with the great rack. I will marvel at your strength. I’ll take care of you when you’re sick. I give a kick ass massage. I think it’s hot when you come home all dirty from playing or working hard. My heart will skip every time you walk through the door. My kisses will take your breath away – seriously. I’ll giggle if you leave your socks on in bed. My quirks and oddities have been deemed ‘adorable’ and I will love you more everyday for all of yours. I’ll hold you when you need it. I will give you space when you need it. I will let you be you. You’ll sleep better when I’m next to you. I’ll thank you every time you open a door for me. I’ll never give you shit in front of your friends. I won’t ever let you leave for work in the morning without your lunch and a passionate kiss. We can watch your movie first. I’ll clean the house perfectly every time your mom comes by. I like horror movies only when you’re with me and only as long as you hold me close. I don’t litter. I love when you pull me down to sit on your lap. I love it when you lay your head on my chest in bed. I can be ready (shower and all) in half an hour. I’ll look cute as hell in your shirt in the morning. I can balance a checkbook. I can never turn down a challenge. I’ll fit perfectly in your arms. I’ll understand if you get jealous – and do my best to show you that you have no reason. Hand-written love notes will get you laid every time. I can totally keep a secret. I’m pretty damn funny and will do anything to make you laugh. You will always look hot to me in the morning. I think it’s cute when you eat off my plate. When you’re sleeping, I’ll try to stay quiet. I’ll call when I say I will. Treat me like a woman and I’ll treat you like a man. To clarify: I’m not looking for a fix-up project, or anything of that sort. I’m looking for a man who quite simply adds something extraordinary and special to my life. And I to him. A fair exchange, an amazing mind, body and soul connection and a place to build something magnificent."

change things

this is much harder than i thought it would be............................................................................................

curiosity

is that too much to ask? drama free is the way to be. i want to get there.

my life is nuts right now. so much accusation, so much trust broken, so many people assuming things about me even when theyve known me for 3 years and know the kind of person i am... im over it all. i am not perfect. i like to run away from my problems. i wish that i could run away from all of this, and i would in a heartbeat... if it wasnt for the fact that there is something at the end of all this drama that has my interest. has all of my attention something that's got me curious. something that makes me want to know more. something that MIGHT be worth the drama... we will see.

no matter what though, i need to remember that whatever happens, i have myself. and that's all i need. i do not need others for satisfaction in life. i have all i need. but it sure as hell provides some excitement and entertainment for the time being. i'm beginning to wonder if my heart can be broken ever agin. i feel like i am immune to so much now. the word love has no meaning in my dictionary right now. its a weird, yet wonderful feeling right now. the only thing on the other end of love is me in my mind. i love me right now. and that's all i need to love. i am number one. i am going to get what i want and do what i want to do. having some company along the way won't kill me though. :) just sayin.

numb.

don't wait.

put yourself first. think with your heart. think with your head. do what you feel is best for you, now and in the long run. live the life that you want. live the life that makes you happy. if you aren't smiling all the time, something isn't right. change it. fix it. do whatever it takes to make yourself happy. you can only control the way you live and the way you feel. so take control, go out there, put a smile on your face, and live.

here's to saturday

something new. something exciting. something different.

that's what i have right now and i am on cloud 9. absolutely loving my life right now. just so you all know. sorry for the lack of posts. life is calling. you understand :)

don't let them bring you down

im currently watching the view, which i NEVER ever watch because i can't stand it. 5 women bitching, please, you can get that anywhere with any 5 women, why waste time watching it on TV? well i was in the kitchen busy, it came on as background noise, so i just let it be. It caught my attention with 2 things... the cast of jersey shore and octo-mom. as i watch both of these stories, i realize something. everyone, and i mean EVERYONE, loves to watch a train wreck. everyone loves seeing something go down in flames from a distance, but no one wants to be that center of attention. now, this is an interesting concept to me. it's almost as if everyone that doesn't truly know and love you wants to see if you've got what it takes to survive. they want to watch you fail. they want to be able to chat about you over coffee or drinks with friends. they want to be able to point at you and say "she/he did or did not do...*fill in the blanks*" everyone loves gossip. everyone loves a story. i will admit, i am guilty of just that. 2 thoughts come about with this...

1. i am going to try to avoid being the one that talks of someone else's life and life choices. it is their business and it is by no means yours to judge or point fingers. i am not perfect. neither are they...

2. don't worry about what other people think. they are not perfect. they just want to talk. if they want to waste their time judging mine, so be it. take it as somewhat of an honor really. they feel you are important enough to talk about! ha.

you are living your own life. don't let anyone tell you what to do or let them affect you and the wonderful life you are leading. go out and live the way you want to.

new day, new me

yes it is indeed. :) feeling better today. the sun is out. it's friday. my "birthday" dinner/celebration is tonight. i woke up for pilates. made cinnamon rolls. about to head out for a 9.1 mile run. some physique 57. shopping with the girls later. getting ready. all in all, it's bound to be a wonderful day. :) things are looking up in "me" land!

happy weekend everyone!

blahhhhhh :P

sorry for being MIA. i am in a rut. i am slowly getting myself out of said rut, but it is taking much longer than usual. i am sad. i am not myself. i am unmotivated. i am unhappy. :( i'm not really sure what is wrong with me, but i am trying to figure it out and get out of this terrible, awful, no good, very bad day...week...month? :P i'm sorry, no inspiration coming my way tonight, but i hope to be back soon. the fact that i am posting this is a step in the right direction, so hopefully i'll be back very very soon. until then, keep living, keep doing what you do. love life for me, while i'm MIA.

peace & love.

writing it now.

it's my party & i'll cry if i want to

it's my 21st birthday today!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

too bad it's a monday. and all my friends have classes/midterms/rehearsals. and it's raining cats and dogs. and did i mention it's MONDAY?? the ultimate monday indeed. the kind where you don't want to get out of bed all day and listen to jack johnson and knit by candlelight. THAT kind of monday. but i won't let it get me down! i think this will turn into my birthday MONTH because since all of my friends have different schedules i will end up celebrating at several random times. which is totally ok by me. :)

going out toniiiiiiiight.

live it up, do it big.

happy me day everyone!

obsession.

brilliance.

if you can make it here...

i've been playing in new york, concrete jungle where dreams are made of. ain't that the truth. it's been an eye opening experience to say the least. the biggest thing i've gotten from this trip is that i am soooo glad with my decision not to move here. i do love this city. but i feel lonely. even with friends around me, this really is the loneliest city in the world i think. the experiences and opportunities are priceless and endless, but it's just not the place for me to be at this point in my life. i am trying to live it to the fullest while i am here though.

dreamy indeed

i had a dream that matthew mcconaughey came to my apartment, couldn't keep his eyes off me, couldn't keep his hands off me, couldn't keep his lips off me, swept me away to malibu with him, and couldn't stand to be a second without me.

*sigh*

ohhh, if only...

a girl can dream right?

lovely today

mom's coming down for the day

sun is shining bright

home opening baseball game

chili's night for relay for life

tea and coffee in hand

fresh 24 pack of diet coke chilling

pb & banana breakfast

& nyc in 2 days

life is good today :)

yes indeed, it's going to be a good day :)

it was 2 days ago...

but i can't get my mind off of it still. i need to stop thinking... i need to stop thinking...

cookie monster

maybe i'll make these today...

sooooooo stinkin cute. i love it.

relax

i. ran. 10. miles. yesterday.

soooooo sore. a day off is well deserved today i think :)

i like knowing i can take a day off to relax and knowing i did something to deserve it. it's the freakin' weekend, baby i'm about to have me some fun. ;)

do something crazy this weekend.

do something spontaneous this weekend.

do something for yourself this weekend.

do something fun this weekend.

do something glamourous this weekend.

if nothing else, just enjoy it to its fullest and be beautiful you.

happy friday everyone!