2011 life.

this year has started out.... well, it started. whether i like it or not. now, dont get me wrong, im ready for a new year. 2010 was... well a year. it was so high up, then so far down, then so high up again, then back down for a bit, then it was on a trampoline for a few months where it was literally up and down so much and so quickly you couldnt tell which it was at at which moment... then it leveled out quite a bit in a happy yet uncomfortable medium high... now that 2010 is over, i feel it went out with a bang and left me at quite a mediocre, unmotivated blah zone of which i am quite determined to work my way out of as quickly as i possibly can. my 2011 journey begins officially tomorrow with a move to a new city with new adventures and new goals and surroundings.

as i said so many times last year, this year is once again going to be about me. i am so over the male species at the moment. i am so sick of letting my happiness depend on whether or not they are happy or not. i am so sick of my mood going to far up when they text/call to so far down when they are being assholes... i am done letting me be affected by some stupid boy. because afterall that is all they are. boys. not men. boys. childish, immature, selfish, indecent, self-obsessed, self-empowered pigs. yep. bitter much right? i know. i am. and rightfully so. i am done dealing with them and done bringing myself down to their level so to feel accomplished. i dont need them to feel that. i AM accomplished in so many areas and all on my own.

i am a radio city rockette.

i ran a half marathon.

i ran a full marathon.

i pay my own bills.

i have my own apartment.

i am independent and self motivated.

i have already accomplished numbers 1 & 2 on my lifelong bucket list.

i do not need anyone right now. i really dont. and in fact, i need this time to myself. time to not have to answer to anyone. time to not have to worry about a significant other and whether or not they are happy or not. i am going to take this single time and revel in it. i will not afterall be single forever, but hey, i'm 21, if ever you are going to fully enjoy being alone (not lonely) is this not the age to do so? i think yes. i am single and not ready to mingle. i am single and happy. single and content. in fact, i dont much like the term single at all. it seems to me that the term "single" is always associated with a negative connotation. why that is, i'm not exactly sure... but since that is the case, i am not going to call myself single, or alone, or boyfriend-less, but rather unattached. uninhibited. un-obgligated. yes i did just make up a word. i have never thought of myself as that girl that just has to have a male in her life to feel complete and happy and i certainly dont want to find myslef waltzing into that now. i dont want any part of that "girl stereotype" at all. me. me. me. girl. girl. girl. yes. yes. yes. 3x gives the full emphasis i think.

you get the picture.

2011. i want you to know i'm ready for you. i'm stepping up to the plate and i am 100% prepared for whatever 99 mph curveballs you have to send my way. i am not looking for anything in particular. i am not out to find anyone in particular. i am simply along for the ride. along for this crazy road we call life. why get so wrapped up in someone elses ride that you miss the view along your own? that's what i feel i've been doing and it needs to stop right away.

my happiness will reflect moment to moment on what i feel is best fpr me and what i know is best for my well-being.

Resolutions for 2011

1. Run more marathons

2. Keep a clean apartment, even if there are no visitors to be had.

3. Eat cleanly and nutritiously.

4. Save $$$

5. DANCE.

all perfectly keepable. so hey. do it. now. no day but today. don't put off your best life. do it now.