if you can make it here...

i've been playing in new york, concrete jungle where dreams are made of. ain't that the truth. it's been an eye opening experience to say the least. the biggest thing i've gotten from this trip is that i am soooo glad with my decision not to move here. i do love this city. but i feel lonely. even with friends around me, this really is the loneliest city in the world i think. the experiences and opportunities are priceless and endless, but it's just not the place for me to be at this point in my life. i am trying to live it to the fullest while i am here though.

dreamy indeed

i had a dream that matthew mcconaughey came to my apartment, couldn't keep his eyes off me, couldn't keep his hands off me, couldn't keep his lips off me, swept me away to malibu with him, and couldn't stand to be a second without me.

*sigh*

ohhh, if only...

a girl can dream right?

lovely today

mom's coming down for the day

sun is shining bright

home opening baseball game

chili's night for relay for life

tea and coffee in hand

fresh 24 pack of diet coke chilling

pb & banana breakfast

& nyc in 2 days

life is good today :)

yes indeed, it's going to be a good day :)

it was 2 days ago...

but i can't get my mind off of it still. i need to stop thinking... i need to stop thinking...

cookie monster

maybe i'll make these today...

sooooooo stinkin cute. i love it.

relax

i. ran. 10. miles. yesterday.

soooooo sore. a day off is well deserved today i think :)

i like knowing i can take a day off to relax and knowing i did something to deserve it. it's the freakin' weekend, baby i'm about to have me some fun. ;)

do something crazy this weekend.

do something spontaneous this weekend.

do something for yourself this weekend.

do something fun this weekend.

do something glamourous this weekend.

if nothing else, just enjoy it to its fullest and be beautiful you.

happy friday everyone!

save you

i have found my favorite song of the moment. it is my life. it makes me want to dance. right. now.

tattoo thoughts...

new idea for a tattoo. adding it to the list.

go.

do.

be.

i kind of love it. a lot. very me. will continue thinking about my options. happy hump day.

be.

happy.

present.

healthy.

confident.

smart.

kind.

humble.

courageous.

sassy.

fearless.

a role model.

better.

stronger.

motivated.

inspired.

full of life.

outrageous.

funny.

full out.

honest.

wonderful.

content.

yourself.

free.

do.

better.

more than you think you can.

work.

all that you can.

everything you want.

what makes you happy.

something new.

something that scares you.

it fearlessly.

it now.

go.

further.

harder.

the distance.

the extra mile.

left.

right.

everywhere.

longer.

with confidence.

happier.

healthier.

now.

fairest of them all

day 2 went well for the most part... well... ish. i ran 7 miles this morning! aaaand then sat at a baseball game the rest of the day. but ate healthy for the most part. and right now i am sitting on my couch catching up on 90210 and american idol instead of going to tap class. wah wah. buuuuuuuttttt the day is done. and it is what it is. not the best, not the worst. moving on.

i am smiling every day. i am being happy every day. i am determined to enjoy the life i have been given. i am determined to live for the moment, and be happy in this moment. i am searching for the positive in everything. i am trying to be understanding and slow to anger over things that aren't that important. i am trying to not sweat the small things, if you will. i am trying my hardest not to overanalyze or complain. i am trying my hardest to remember that everything will work out and i have nothing to worry about in the long run. it's all in God's hands. i am trying my hardest to remember that i have accomplished AMAZING things and i am not even 21 yet. i am trying to remind myself every day that no matter what else i do in this life, i have accomplished my lifelong dream and goal. not too many people can say that. i can.

i am also focusing a lot of energy on a very new feeling to me. a healthy body image. i have never really had one. i now know exactly what i need to do to get the body that i am happy with, that i am comfortable with, that i am confident with. so i am now doing everything i can to maintain that. i need to not forget that i am capable of achieving anything i want but it takes hard work to get there. keeping my motivation up, keeping my positivity rolling... i am feeling like a princess :) and i am falling in love with life yet again. happy.

^^^^ what is true. ^^^^

day 1

it is day one of my "fresh start" and it is suuuuure a good thing, because i had a final splurge this weekend. i have been getting some inspiration this morning because it is few and far between with my girl time of the month on the rise. so far so good though. breakfast of a banana and peanut butter, coffee, tea, and emergen-c, causing my energy to rise and my motivation to slowly come around. i've got a lot on the to-do list this week, so hopefully i get out of this lazy slump and back to the good ol' motivated happy me :) mother nature, leave me the f alone! ha. seriously though.

who wouldn't want to walk in sienna miller's shoes for a day? i certainly would. love her. so pretty. so perfect. i mean, jude law can't get his mind off her. that's saying something. for real. they just need to have babies together already. can you imagine? sexy at it's best on both sides. pure perfection.

aaaand with that said, i'm off to run 6 miles, physique 57 a bit, some pushups/squats/situps/lunges, and end the day off with some hot yoga. that is the pan. i will let you know how my out of shape body feels tomorrow.

pause, that was negative. i AM in shape. but i want to be in BETTER shape than i think possible. no self negative talk. i am beautiful. i am powerful. i am strong. i am sexy. i am fearless. tell yourself that constantly and don't you ever forget it. other people can tell you that, but you know you can only trust yourself 100%. and if you can't trust yourself, you've got a serious problem.

at yoga the other night, my instructor said "never try to prove yourself to others. you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. be happy and at peace with you." i love that. nothing to prove, no one to impress but me.

peace and love.

love and a fresh start

happy valentines day! also happy chinese new years! of the 2 holidays i choose to focus most of my energy on the later of the 2. another day for new beginnings and a fresh start. my second new years, back to my resolutions. a day for fresh starts and love. how perfect is that? i am going to start my week/month/year of self love tomorrow. lots of tea, working out, running, sweating, and diet coke. :) sounds wonderful doesn't it? i certainly think so!

operation hot bod

i need to get motivated and get my butt to dance class... ASAP. as in NOW. yep. sure do. miss it dearly.

i need to get back on track. i've been lazy and useless the past few days. i know my damn girl time of month is coming because i want to eat anything and EVERYTHING in sight that has sugar or chocolate in it. i am a bottomless pit. it is awful and i feel very blahhhh.

tomorrow is valentines day. i'm hoping for a delicious box of fancy chocolates. after i finish off that hopeful box of chocolates, i will then begin y sugar cleanse until my birthday on march 8th. the diet and workout plan i have so lovingly titled "operation hot body" hahaha not really. i just made that up. but that is what it will be.

1. DRINK WATER!

2. No added sugars!! (only the kind in fruit and yogurt)

3. minimum peanut butter!

4. minimum processed foods!

5. RUN 5-8 miles a day!

6. DO PHYSIQUE 57!!

7. HOT YOGA!

8. BALLET!

9.SPINNING!

10. PILATES!

11. drink green tea!

12. SMILE :)

thats the plan. for 3 weeks. yep. and then carry it on after that as well. no more eating everything in sight just because i can. back to the resolutions and back to the 21 list. need serious re vamping on myself. plan begins monday! wish me luck :) much love.

life lesson #1

something you've never done

Some people pass through your life and you never think about them again. Some you think about and wonder what ever happened to them. Some you wonder if they ever wonder what happened to you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.

— The Wonder Years

a new home

it has been a busy, busy week my friends! i'm all moved into my apartment, and getting close to settled in. i had no idea the process of moving and let me tell you, it is QUITE the process! so much is involved and there are so many things that pop up that need to be done that you kind of forget about it because they're so average and typical that you forget them. i've been back and forth between wal-mart and target about a zillion times, but it's ok because they're both right near my apartment! now, whether that is a good thing or a very very bad thing, i have not decided yet. wonderful that they're close, but target is my weakness. i could spend every last penny in my possession in target in one afternoon i think. it's a problem. so self control at it's best will have to turn on ASAP.

i have begun decorating and let me tell you i am in LOVE. i love having my own place. i love putting things where i want to put them. i love cleaning my own place. i love hanging things the way i want to hang them. i love buying the groceries that i want to buy. i love being able to have a messy space, but then also being able to happily clean it right up. i love everything about this situation at hand and i honestly can't stop the slight smile and happy eyes on my face. i am so happy right now. i feel so independent and that is my favorite feeling in the whole world. i am in love with my life right now. :)

it has been so nice to be back here. but at the same time, i feel like i am in a completely different place entirely. it's amazing the difference in living right near campus and living a little bit away from it all. i no longer feel like a wannabe student but rather a normal person with a schedule and a to do list. when i do go to school to visit, it feels like just that. a visit. and i am happy to do so, but i finally no longer feel like that is where i should be. i feel like i am exactly where i am supposed to be right now and it is wonderful. i am happy. truly happy. something that has been a long time coming.

and finally...

...IS MOVING DAYYYYYYYYYY :D :D :D

oh happy day

everything is FINALLY falling into place!

today turned upside down compared to the last few days.

3 reasons i am super happy today...

1. i finally got in touch with my apartment/landlord and my move in IS official, wednesday at 4 o clock! i'll drive down tomorrow, drop into the apartments and fill out some paperwork, maybe check into my gym membership, and most importantly see everybody! i am so happy. i cannot wait to be back in the city. i'll move all my stuff in day after tomorrow and get to settling in :) yay!

2. i got to go to the gym again today FINALLY. i ran 5 miles, which considering i didn't do anything for 4 days, that's not too shabby :) and i've got a few months for training still, so i feel great!

3. tonight i got to go to a cocktail reception for the Extreme Makeover Home Edition that is happening in my hometown right now. pretty cool event. there were TV cameras everywhere, and everyone from the show, except Ty unfortunately. there was an auction for the make a wish foundation and they raised $200,000! i've never been to a live auction before, so that was quite an experience.

SUCH a wonderful Monday and tomorrow will be a WONDERFUL tuesday! i'm so happy. i've still got packing to do though, so i better get on with that if i want to leave on time tomorrow :)

OH and the bachelor is on tonight!!!! so much to do, so little time to do it :)

(: keep the happy coming pleeeease :)