the lying cheating fucklehead tried to tell me how i should or should not spend my money tonight. it took everything in me not to blurt out, you don't seem to have a problem spending money on limos for slutty yellow teeth girls, now do you? but i did not say that. i said "i will spend my money however i damn well feel. and don't try to tell someone who has to budget her hard earned money with rent, gas money, groceries, cell phone bills, electric, student loans, union dues, to name a few expenses, how to spend her money when you survive off of daddy's credit card." ok, so i didn't say those EXACT harsh words, but that's what i was thinking and that's what i meant. SIIIIGH of relief. i had to share that and get it off my chest. another reason i am going crazy with him. literally everything that comes out of his mouth now makes me think of something with his cheating or lying and i can't even help it. he told me a story about how he's going to be working on this relay for life project with a girl (a past BEST girlfriend of mine) who he happened to treat me like shit because of this girl back in the day. she and i were best friends, he and i were a thing, he all the sudden decided he was over me and wanted my BEST friend. needless to say, that doesn't flow in my book, nor hers. there was ALOT more involved, but that's the story in a nutshell. anyways, point being, just the 2 of them will likely be spending a lot of time together alone. it's really pathetic when you can trust the girl you hardly EVER talk to anymore more than you can trust your own boyfriend. ugh. with each passing day i find i am more and more disgusted with him as my boyfriend. and the more and more i think about it, the more and more i realize he would make SUCH a better friend to me. as center stage so beautifully put, "as a boyfriend, he kinda sucks." that is the damn truth.
now that that's out and in the air, i feel much better. now a little about ME! :D
i spent the night and day being a complete girl and i loooooved every second of it.
i knitted some this morning
went for a nice 4 mile run+ 1.86 miles walking on incline while reading a girl magazine
went tanning
came home to a house to MYSELF! (this is my favorite thing ever. one of the main reasons i can't wait to have my own apartment)
downloaded "bedrock" (my ipods on repeat as of now)
blasted the music
took a long hot shower
got ready while dancing around in my pink panties and tube socks
tried on random outfits in my closet
went to target
bought a makeup organizer, makeup brushes, white strips, toothpaste
shopped for my precious red, yellow, &tiffany box blue kitchen :D
went to eat a delicious chicken & avocado salad at compadre's
overindulged in triple chocolate m&m's and hot tea (those m&ms are heaven. new. purple. beautiful. check them out. thy'd e soooo pretty in a candy dish i think.)
chatted on the phone to the butthead :P
texted my best girlfriends
organized my makeup in my new makeup organizer
tested lots of different makeups/experimented
listened to kei$ha, which is complete trash and i am addicted for some reason???
aaaaand talked to A dawg about our planned festivities of the semester to come!
what a wonderful ME day! i loved every second of it. i cannot wait to get into my apartment and do all of the above whenever i feel like it! aaaaand i cannot wait to be 21, so then i can REALLY do whatever i want whenever i want for ME! i got some GREAT stuff for my kitchen like i said, which of course made me even more excited. ps, i refuse to cal my kitchen color anything other than "tiffany box blue". it is not turquoise, or teal, it is tiffanys. and that's the way i want it. that's final. breakfast at tiffany's every morning if you will :) bah ha. **note to self-- another book for the reading list. WHICH speaking of, needs it's own post i believe, so i can keep track of the books i want to read. ANYWAYS, back to the point... my apartment, as i told my best friend tonight, is going to be a happy, happening, always exciting place. i want to be able to have people over and i want them to want to come back time and time again. that is my plan. and i will make it happen.
i also want to be a fashionista when i return to okc. i want to be that girl that comes back after awhile of being gone and everyone's like "wow! look at her! she looks great!" i want to be fearless with my fashion and wear what i feel is super sexy and feminine in my own way, not what is accepted. there's another plan of mine for ya. seems i have sooooo many resolutions and soooo much time to accomplish it all :) i really do love my life.
amazing how i can be so happy about myself and so sad and upset and pissed off at my significant other, isn't it? i'm thriving on this right now and i really love that. i love me time. i love being happy with myself. i love loving my life and not having to worry about anyone else. i love getting to do things for me and enjoying it. i love not having to feel like i should do something for that SOMEONE else.
it's lovely isn't it? living your own life?
now i will bust out in a melody of "a whole new world" i feel it is appropriate. only instead of with the lying "prince" aladdin aka abubu, i will sing it solo. the way it should have been sung in the first place. silly jasmine. you're better off ruling the kingdom on your own. who needs a peasant boy's help anyway? :) heh heh.
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